Stillmatic:::
by Samsara
Summary: When Yamato's Guitarist leaves, mat must find a replacement. After finding Ken as the perfect sub, the two begin to get closer. But wil their blossoming love be thwarted by homophobia? (Yamaken, Taidai, Cutting, Abuse and Attempted Suicide)
1. Bubble Rain

Stillmatic  
  
  
  
Disclaimers: you can't sue me, nah nah nah nah! See, i don't own digimon, and I'm not making any money offa this. So, if anyone wants to sue someone, go jump in front of moving vehicles – works really well (lotsa pity!).  
  
Warnings: yamaken/kenato (KenxYamato/ YamatoxKen), Taidai (Tai x Daisuke), Takari (Takeru x Hikari), Yomi ( Yolei x Mimi) and other couplings. Severe Depression, Homophobia, Cutting, Child Abuse, Lemon Maybe....  
  
The title Stillmatic comes from the new album by Nas, called Stillmatic. Stillmatic means to keep coming, or going on. Please check out his album. He's a really great guy... Ya know, he refuses to do beer commercials, keeps coming back to his hood to check up on people and he doesn't care what others think of him. Isn't he cool? I think so...  
  
  
  
:::Stillmatic:::  
  
Bubble Rain  
  
  
  
  
  
Outside the downtown studio of the Teenage Wolves, rain poured relentlessly. Tiny droplets of sorrow and twisted mirth pattered in mixed time to fall to cement. Sunlight was hidden by cloud after cloud, and the city's pollution was trapped into the dreary scene. The onslaughts of rain sheets did however carry on into the studio.  
  
" I'm just saying, we can't be the Teenage Wolves forever! I mean, by the time we reach true stardom, we'll be beyond Teenagers. I really think we should change the name now, rather than later," Hiroshi explained to the rest of the band. He leaned back against the door that lead into the tiny closet, standing at least a foot over the others.  
  
"He does have a point," Yamato shrugged as he placed in his comment. Every month the band had a meeting, and this time they were discussing their name.  
  
"But I like the name!" Mirobani cried. The tall, brunette with dazzling green eyes was draped across a keyboard, his arms folded around his precious instrument. The two other band members, Ryo and Yukana remained silent, each sitting in the small window seat.  
  
"Why don't we finish this later. It's time to go, and I'm gonna be late," Yamato stood up from his spot on the floor, and gathered up his guitar. The others started to get up, murmuring different goodbyes. Matt was the last to leave the tiny closet and the recording equipment they had recently gotten. As he shut off the lights and stepped into the grubby hallway, he realized that Yukana had waited at the elevator door for him. Yukana held his bass guitar close to his chest and with closed eyes whispered something to himself. Raising an eyebrow, Yamato approached his friend and pressed the down button on the elevator.  
  
"Thanks for waiting," Yamato said quietly, letting Yukana get in the elevator first. The short, blue haired boy with honey eyes stepped in cautiously, his shoulders quaking ever so slightly.  
  
"I needed to tell you something," Yukana stated simply, shrugging his free shoulder.  
  
"Well, shoot,"  
  
" Lately things have gotten really complicated. My grandmother has gotten very sick, and my mom wants me to go and stay with her to keep her on her feet. I'm not going to be able to play with you guys for a while. I mean, my mom already didn't like me staying out so late, and then my grades started to drop. I just don't have enough time. In a month or so I'll be back from my grandmother's in China, and will only have to take a half day of school, and then I'll have time to play with you all," Yukana explained slowly, the word seeping out of his mouth in wavering tones.  
  
"Just a month? Jesus, we have our tour starting up in two weeks! What the hell am I supposed to do without a bass, or backup vocals?" Yamato howled. The other boy stayed silent for a minute before answering.  
  
" I know, I know. I'm sorry but I just don't have a choice on this one. It's not my fault my mom wants me to take care of my grandma!" he replied stiffly, turning to face Yamato, whose pale face was completely unreadable, " I do know someone who can replace me while I'm gone. He's a great guitarist and has a sweet voice with enough encouragement. I swear, he taught me everything I know about playing a guitar."  
  
"Will he play with us?" Yamato asked quietly. Yukana scuffled his feet against the floor.  
  
"Maybe. He's nice enough, and he isn't attached to anybody, I think. But, he can get a little touchy,"  
  
Yamato stood, his mind working. He made no move to reply as the elevator reached the lobby.  
  
"Look, here's the place that he's performing tonight. He'll go onstage about 9 with a band called Paradise. You can be mad at me all you damn well please, but it won't help the situation," Yukana stated haughtily and shoved a business card into Yamato's hand. Yukana didn't wait for his friend to say anything, but instead hustled out the elevator and rushed across the tiled floor for the exit.  
  
"I'm not mad at you!" Matt yelled after him. The retreating figure stopped, and turned at the door.  
  
"I know!"  
  
-----------------------  
  
By the time Yamato entered the small bar and dance club where this 'great' guitarist was performing, the place was packed with all sorts of people. Workmen fresh off of construction, businessmen, young rave goers, and even families had flocked to the bar, and according to the bartender, all because of this band Paradise. The bar had one main dance floor which was littered with people jumping up and down, trying to keep up with a near impossible beat set by the DJ. The bar was on the right side of the door as soon as you came in, and created a sort of hallway into the dance floor. Cubbies in the wall surrounding the dance floor were filled with booths and tables. There was another hallway which lead to the kitchens, the restrooms, an emergency exit and to the stage, which was at the head of the floor. Right now the stage was hidden behind a mass of bright yellow and red curtain.  
  
At 8:50, the DJ's rhythm slowed down until it disappeared completely, signaling the coming onstage performance. As the DJ quickly packed up his equipment, people flocked to the dance floor and booths, trying to get the best possible seats. Yamato stood at the doorway briefly, taking in the scene before him. Slowly he made his way over to a still unoccupied chair near the side of the room. The 17 year old climbed onto the high chair, folded his arms and waited for the show to start.  
  
Suddenly, at 9 exactly, a direct beat wavered out into the air, followed by more beats, and then... guitar. In the back round, seemingly church bells sounded, but the guitar strings were the center of the music. Each chord struck deep into Yamato's soul, the trail leaving more emotion behind than any other music had before. Once the chord was struck, the sound left Yamato craving more. A broad grin soon glowed on his face. Once the intro had faded into the rest of the piece, the curtains opened.  
  
A tall girl with black hair highlighted with green stood at the center of the stage, next to the mic stand. She was wearing a gorgeous purple skirt that covered her legs entirely and stamped with a Chinese dragon print. Her white tank top and pearl necklace contrasted deeply with her tan skin. She eyes were decorated with black eyeliner and bright glossy purple eye shadow.  
  
To her left was the bass guitarist, who wore a simple white dress shirt which was half tucked into baggy black pants. He was the shortest of the five people on stage, with his brown hair spiked back. Behind the vocalist was the drummer, who was practically hidden beneath her drums, but her long brown hair streamed out from under a blue flamed beanie*. The keyboardist was in the far corner and half out of line of sight. He seemed to be of a strong build with firm, well balanced muscles. His shirt was bright orange and red mesh shirt and black jeans. His blonde hair stuck out at all angles, and slight circles were under his eyes.  
  
The guitarist was to the right of the vocalist. His face was hidden as he was bend over his guitar for the moment, carefully strumming each string. A microphone was set up for him and his guitar. The guitar was a simple acoustic, but somehow the boy had managed to make it half sound electric. The boy wore a tight black shirt with long sleeves, which dipped around the neck to reveal a cord with a stone latched to it. His shirt fell over extremely tight, dark blue leather pants that tied up on one side with a black cord. Black boots were just visible under the pant's bell-bottom. His hair hung down a bit past his ears, the indigo locks gleaming like silk in the light. Then, the lyrics began.  
  
// Beneath you the land crumbles  
  
The weight of tears and unvoiced screams  
  
It breaks take you down under without me  
  
Tumbling down you go... on, and on  
  
Faces surround you  
  
Why must they mock us?  
  
So then you let die her soul  
  
Is she haunting you still?  
  
No matter how long ago  
  
You have to cry for her now  
  
And the land makes you tumble  
  
Forcing memories from your mind  
  
The mountains trapping you in time  
  
Take an answer from the unknown  
  
Chorus: I won't sit here  
  
I can't stand here  
  
Why won't you let yourself go? \\  
  
The girl's voice floated into the air, the voice unwavering and melodic. Her voice burbled with a still rustic edge, and the words came forth as heart felt sounds. The guitar works were now buried underneath the lyrics, but the chords helped bring out and sharpen the girl's words. At the chorus, his voice slowly came in. The lyrics then stopped again, and the beat and guitar took control again. That's when the guitarist lifted his head to the crowd. His pale face seemed delicate and even fragile in the light, but a hard core about him gave him spirit. His hair half fell across his face and even from far away the silky strands were delectable. A dash of blue paint had been swiped across his face, and someone had given him bright blue highlights to his indigo hair. Suddenly Yamato gasped.  
  
The guitarist had opened his eyes to reveal tranquil violet eyes with glossy features of hope and twinges of darkness. It was Ken! Yamato's eyes clung onto the youthful form of his longtime crush, his blue orbs hungrily lacing up the tight pants. The child prodigy, keeper of the crest of Kindness, and a seemingly withdrawn 15 year old was playing the best out of the thousands of guitarists Yamato had met. But how did Ken end up here? Yamato hadn't seen or heard too much from the young man for at least a year or so. After the final battle against Malo-Myostismon, the two generations of DigiDestined had split up. The older group hadn't really done anything as a group for a long time, but Taichi and Yamato both saw each other everyday and were still best friends. The younger DigiDestined still had regular meetings, and often went out as a group, but there were some social clashes in the group. Takeru, Hikari and Miyako were all in the popular crew, while Daisuke and Iori were sort of middlemen, half popular. Ken was the loner of the class, but he mostly hung out with Daisuke. Like Taichi and Yamato, they had stayed close over the years. Because of the social class, it made going out for the younger DigiDestined hard.  
  
The last time Yamato had seen Ken for more than five minutes was after the time Taichi and Daisuke had hooked up. Taichi was going over to his boyfriend's (Davis's) and Yamato, having nothing better to do, came along. The three of them sat around Daisuke's house for a bit, playing video games and just talking, when Daisuke got a brilliant plan to call Ken over. Ken came over and soon they had gotten into the liquor cabinet. Eventually, Ken and Yamato got left watching a movie while Taichi and Daisuke made out in the kitchen. Yamato interrupted his thoughts as the vocals started up again.  
  
// You and Me  
  
We're standing on forever  
  
I wanna move up ahead with you  
  
No matter what someone says to me and you  
  
Let's not live in forever, please  
  
I just wanna go on till I've got nowhere left to go  
  
We can take our simple shelter in our arms  
  
Someday the words will come  
  
To teach you how to walk  
  
The twisting steps of ivory vines  
  
Surrounds the setting sun  
  
(Chorus)  
  
A new life will end  
  
Before it sees the light  
  
I know we're gonna crawl  
  
Until I know to walk  
  
Trust the stranger  
  
Trust the Messages of winter sand  
  
  
  
So I won't stand here  
  
I can't sit and watch you die  
  
Why won't you let go?  
  
Why won't you let go?  
  
I can't  
  
I won't  
  
I don't wanna see you cry  
  
I don't want to listen  
  
Trust the messages of winter sand  
  
We'll be okay  
  
Okay (x4)  
  
Why won't you just let go? \\  
  
The final chorus differed from the others, in that it was more powerful and sunk into your heart deeply. The singer's eyes were closed as she grasped the mic in frustration at whomever she was singing about, but her voice was still pure and stung like metal wool to your soul. The music continued on a bit after the vocals ended, but the last guitar chord rang deep into the night. Immediately following the song came immense applause, and the whole audience stood to acknowledge the band, who bowed graciously.  
  
The rest of the night was a blur. At least 12 more songs followed, each with a different rhythm and difficulty, but each had the same effect on you as the first. By 11:35, the band was taking their final bows and crowds filtering out the doors, the air bubbling with excited talk about the band's performance. Yamato was the last person to stand up from his seat, having sunken in once the music started. He quickly walked over to the hallway that lead to the stage, waiting for Ken to immerge.  
  
Around 11:45, a rather sleepy and tousled looking Ken came round the hallway. He stopped shortly and grinned happily to see Matt waiting for him.  
  
"Hey! I thought I saw you out there tonight! What's up?" Ken chirped happily, coming to walk with Yamato to the exit.  
  
"Long time no see. I heard about a great guitarist and came down to see who it was. I didn't know you played the guitar, otherwise I woulda picked you up a long time ago," Yamato replied, returning the smile.  
  
" I started playing when I was ten, and kept on after that. It's the only thing that's survived from my childhood. I joined up with these guys about four months ago when their guitarist quit for another band. We went touring a bit, but now I'm looking forward to a break. This is our last performance until our keyboardist and drummer get out of college, which is in five months." Ken answered thoughtfully, grabbing a black sweater and a blue beanie* from the coat rack next to the door.  
  
"I never imagined you living the rock star life," Yamato remarked softly, bracing himself for the rainy weather outside the bar.  
  
"Neither, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to try," Ken's smile glittered, even through the rain. The two began to walk to Matt's car, which was parked on the sidewalk.  
  
"Hey, why don't you come and get a cup of coffee with me. I can drive you home afterwards if you like," Yamato offered smoothly.  
  
"Sure! It'd be nice to catch up again," Ken agreed, and got into the car, carefully placing his guitar in the backseat.  
  
The ride to the nearby Vic's Coffee house was quiet, and well thought. The roads were still packed on a Thursday night, but the traffic wasn't so bad. Inside the shop, the pair ordered and sat down at a table for two.  
  
"So, what have you been up to lately?" Ken inquired directly, his glazed violet eyes trimming over Yamato's body.  
  
"Nothing much. I'm getting ready to take entrance exams to collage, and trying to keep the band going. We've got a huge crowd, but we haven't done anything new lately. I really loved hearing you play. I'll admit it inspired me," Yamato chuckled at his statement, leaning back in his chair. Ken immediately flushed a bright red before stammering a thank you.  
  
"But, other than that, everything's still same old same old. Today my guitarist told me he has to go away for a month, so I'm out scoping the town for a replacement."  
  
"I'd be happy to substitute for you. I found the rock star life is kind of fun, and I think it's good to play with different bands," Ken offered resolutely. Yamato looked up in surprise.  
  
"Really? That's what I was going to ask you! Cool, now I can stop looking," Yamato responded, leaning forward to thank the waitress who brought their coffees.  
  
The two chattered on about life and where things were going with each of them. It was well past 1 when they decided to go home. Yamato kept stealing glances at the younger man, his eyes dancing over the lithe body.  
  
(Yamato POV)  
  
Geez, It's been so long since I last saw him I forgot how much I liked him. He's always smiling now, and he looks so full of life, it's almost like he's a fountain of happiness. You'd never be able to tell he was once a tyrant; he looks so innocent and normal. But he still has that twinge of dark around him. Not that I mind. That's what's always made him so sexy.  
  
He's speaking to me now, though I'm not listening. His lips, are so perfect and smooth, it makes you just want to smoother them with kisses. After a year or so, I guess my crush still hasn't gone away, and I think it blossoming even more.  
  
We're nearing his apartment complex now, and the air is filled with silence. I wonder what it'll be like to see him every week now? To hear him play and sing...  
  
I stop the car and he's slowly clambering out, his cute butt wiggling right in front of my eyes. It's going to be so hard not to love him even more. I'm not even sure if he's gay or bi. He's never dating anyone, but he did turn Miyako down. I get out and follow him to the door.  
  
"Thanks for driving me home, Yamato. We should get together more often," Ken says quietly, looking suddenly lost and morose in front of his complex door. Hmmm... I'd like that.  
  
"Here's my number. Call me sometime okay? I'll see you on Tuesday," I reply gently, pressing a piece of paper with my number on it to him. He's responding now, but I can't seem to hear him. All I can see is his lips moving. And then, suddenly, before I know what I'm doing, I'm kissing him, my lips grazing gently his lips. His eyes shut and he accepts the kiss, his honey lips spreading to welcome me in. I'm about to stick my tongue in, when Ken suddenly stiffens and backs away, his eyes fluttering open quickly. He quickly moves away and opens the door into his complex. He's about to slip from sight, when I grab his wrist from around the door.  
  
"Was that okay?" I whisper softly.  
  
"I don't know," He answers quietly, his face unreadable.  
  
------------------  
  
*Beanies are those hats that are usually made of cotton with cool patterns that cover your ears... they're your regular winter hat mostly. If you still don't get it, email me and I'll send you a scan of my beanie.  
  
Can I continue?  
  
--Samsara 


	2. Silly Me

::Stillmatic::  
  
Silly Me  
  
  
  
"So honey, how was your concert last night?" Mrs. Inchijoji greeted her tousled son as he emerged fresh from the shower. The tall boy merely shook his head, tiny droplets of self-created rain slipping to the floor as he entered his room. When Ken returned to the kitchen a few minutes later, Mrs. Inchijoji had set out the breakfast and her mouth was set in a tight line. Mr. Inchijoji sat at the head of the table, reading a newspaper. He glanced up solemnly at his son.  
  
"Well, answer the question. She's your mother," Mr. Inchijoji declared spitefully.  
  
Ken blinked before turning to gaze back at his mother, who was now twisting a well-used yellow dishcloth in her soapy hands.  
  
"It's alright dear," she said softly, but was cut off by the low growl of her husband.  
  
"He has to learn manners sometime,"  
  
"It's fine mama, I don't mind," Ken smiled gently, reassuring his mother, " I was just preoccupied, that's all,"  
  
"Oh? What about?" his father asked, an eyebrow quirking up. The table sat in silence for a brief moment while Ken felt his breath catch. Last night.... Yamato had walked him up to the door and then kissed him. Yamato had kissed him. Yamato had...  
  
"Well?" His father persisted, setting his fork down.  
  
Ken shook his head and went back to staring at his eggs.  
  
---------------------  
  
  
  
The day had dawned bright and sunny, without any clouds visible in the sky. The city was bursting with life after the past days of darkened mist. Children ran in the streets, adults brushed past one another in the morning rush and teenagers scurried about. Sunlight seeped into the once dead world, and illuminated everything with a glow of animation. After another awkward breakfast, Ken left home and slowly made his way down to the nearby park. Although Ken rarely spent time in the park, he did enjoy escaping his parents. By the time he reached the park, the place was already starting to fill up with people. After finding a soccer game just about to start, Ken sat himself below a willow tree to watch.  
  
After Ken had left Yamato at the door last night, Ken had run up the 12 flights of stairs only to stop at the last step and cry from pain and unrelated joy.  
  
Ken POV:  
  
Why did he have to kiss me? Life's already too complicated, and this just adds onto the bridge. Nothing's simple anymore. The worst part about this is I don't know what to do. I can't ignore it, but I can't take it... mmmm... He tasted good though, almost like strawberries coated in chocolate. I always thought he'd taste like th...stop it!  
  
"Ken!!" the voice glanced off Ken's back to echo through the broad willow tree. Ken smirked and didn't even turn as he replied, " Daisuke,"  
  
The tall 15 year old perched himself next to Ken, and looked to where his friend was looking. The red team had just taken a penalty shot, but the white goalkeeper had managed to save it. The crowds erupted from compulsory silence as waves and waves of good words and backslaps hit the teams. The two just sat there, taking in the sight and recalled those days of long gone.  
  
"Reminds me of us after we won the final battle, ne?" Daisuke asked quietly, a thick smile seeping through his persed lips. Ken sat up and sighed. The final battle? Which one? So many seemed to have happened in his life, Ken lost touch with their inimitability. The final battle over losing Sam, the final battle of staying human, the final battle of staying a monster, the final battle of staying alone, the final battle over not submitting to his parents, and the final battle to let his past go had all been lost with nearly nothing left. Only the battle over Malo-Myostismon and his dying past had been won, both with the help of newfound friends.  
  
"Hn," was all Ken found to reply.  
  
That made Daisuke turn to look at his friend.  
  
"You alright?" Daisuke demanded softly, his tanned elbow bumping against Ken's. Ken 's smile evaporated quickly and the boy turned his face. Silky strands of violet now hung as a curtain around his face, protecting him from the world, and Dai. When not given a reply, Daisuke gently grasped his friend's chin and swiveled his head around so their eyes met. Immediately Daisuke saw that Ken's barriers were flared up and his face was void of any emotion.  
  
"Ken?" Daisuke persisted.  
  
"It's nothing," Ken simply answered and forced a smile onto his devoid face. When he moved to pull away, Daisuke held him firmly.  
  
"Bullshit, Ken. Tell me!" Daisuke responded firmly before letting him go.  
  
"Well," Ken began coyly, "I ran into Yamato last night and... he... kissed me,"  
  
When Ken had finished, Daisuke's face lightened up and a huge grin spread across his face. The air was soon filled with giggles.  
  
"Ha! I knew it! So you guys are going out now?" Daisuke inquired happily.  
  
"Erm... not quite,"  
  
"Whaddya mean? What happened?" Daisuke's face had changed again, this time his emotions concerned.  
  
"I don't know... I don't know if he even likes him," Ken sighed and leaned further against the tree.  
  
"Oh he likes you, I can tell you that. That's how me and Tai got together. Tai, Matt and I had gone out for Tai's graduating party, and we got drunk. Matt let it slip that he really liked you, and I told Tai how I felt. I asked him later if he really did like you and he admitted it. I don't know why he waited so long to tell you though... erm, show it, but don't worry. He does care for you. Do you?" Daisuke assured his fragile looking friend, laughing at his comments.  
  
" I gave up on loving so long ago, I don't think I can do it again," Ken answered sullenly, his hardened chin clenching into his neck. Daisuke stared silently at his friend for moments on end until Daisuke hugged Ken tightly around the waist, his face buried into Ken's back.  
  
The worlds stopped beating around them as their hearts filtered back into one another, a gentle rhythm rocking them back and forth. The willow tree draped her limbs around the pair, the wind caressing their mixed skin.  
  
"Give it a try. See where the hell it goes. And don't tell me you don't like him, because I know you do. We've already talked about it,"  
  
Silence.  
  
"You want to come out with me and Tai tonight? It might cheer you up?" Daisuke asked quietly, his hands slowly slipping away.  
  
"Can't. I have meeting," Ken replied softly. Daisuke's eyebrows raised slightly and his forehead connected together in a miss-matched puzzle game.  
  
"Why won't you tell me what this meeting is about, huh? Is it so secret you can't tell me?" his friend's pouted face flurried against his hair, which was currently whipping across his head.  
  
"Just cause," Ken retorted lightly, brushing the topic off like a leaf off his back.  
  
----------------  
  
"A boy named Yamato called while you were out. He said He'd see you tomorrow night. What's that mean, hmmm?" Mr. Inchijoji informed his son as he entered the apartment. Ken stopped momentarily to take his shoes off before facing his father.  
  
"He just signed me onto his band. We have a practice tomorrow night," Ken explained smoothly, sitting down at the table across from his mother. Mr. Inchijoji followed him, but did not drop the subject.  
  
"Is that all? How come we weren't informed?"  
  
"I forgot. I'm sorry. That is all," The violet-eyed youth confessed slowly.  
  
"Just remember, that kind of stuff is unacceptable in this household,"  
  
Ken nodded numbly, and ate in silence.  
  
----------------------  
  
When Ken entered the Teenage Wolf's studio the next day, he entered just at the height of a fight over the name. Total silence reigned as Ken entered followed by a half uproar and welcome.  
  
"Who the hell are you?!" Mirobani yelped in surprise.  
  
" Your new guitarist. Inchijoji Ken's the name," Ken answered the boy smoothly, unpacking his guitar in the window seat next to Yamato.  
  
" I told you about him," Yamato said.  
  
After quick introductions and a short warm up, the group went over a few pieces for Ken, and showed him around the studio. The group was slowly but surely catching onto Ken's charisma, and by the end of the night were acting like old pals. Since Ken was new to these people, he had made an extra effort to connect with the band, an effort that was evident to Yamato.  
  
//He really has changed....\\  
  
Slowly, the band dispersed one by one, until only Ken and Yamato were left packing up. Yamato constantly eyed the other boy until the silence between them was killing him.  
  
"Ken, about Friday night..." Yamato started, pausing in his actions to stare at his crush. Ken didn't look up from his guitar, but acknowledged Yamato.  
  
"Was it okay?" He whispered gently.  
  
" I... Yama..to... why? Why do you have to know?" Ken questioned softly, his voice barely audible.  
  
"I like you, and I want to ask you something else too, " his voice was still soft as he moved in and seized Ken's waist in a gentle hug.  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Will you let me take you to dinner on Friday?"  
  
With that said, Ken looked up straight into Yamato's eyes. Violet/Black met with Icy Blue and contracted brightly with one another.  
  
//"Give it a try. See where the hell it goes. And don't tell me you don't like him, because I know you do. We've already talked about it,"\\  
  
  
  
//So many things could go wrong. I like him, but... what if he finds out? What if he comes and be...// Ken's thoughts were interrupted when he leaned in further to Yamato's heat. The older man smelled of green tea and tiger lilies, and his face was clouded with mystery right now. Ken sighed contently, and snuggled up against the firm chest.  
  
"...Ken?"  
  
"Mm... and what will we eat?" Ken asked coyly.  
  
" Noodles...and this," Yamato grinned wolfishly as he pulled his new boyfriend's chin up. He gazed softly into Ken's eyes before kissing him gently, his tongue gliding across the younger boy's lips. Ken slowly opened his sweet lips and let their tongues meet in battle.  
  
//Somehow, This feels too good to be wrong.// 


	3. Dumb Touches

: By Samsara  
  
::Stillmatic:: Dumb Touches  
  
  
  
When Ken returned home that night, the house was almost deathly silent. It was well before midnight, but the house was still unusually silent. The only light came from the kitchen, where his father was hovered over piles of paperwork. Seeing Ken enter, the old man put aside his glasses and motioned for Ken to take a seat. Ken poured himself a glass of milk, and sat opposite his father, fists clenched and mouth clamped shut.  
  
"I didn't get to ask you how your meeting went the other day. Well?" Mr. Inchijouji asked. Ken sighed. Of course he would want to know about that. That's really the only thing the two ever talked about these days.  
  
"Same as it was last time. Group Therapy rarely has lively moments, Dad," Ken replied stiffly, his milk forgotten. Silence reigned the room briefly as his father contemplated his sentence. Finally, the man sat forward in his chair, chin resting in his folded hands.  
  
"Are you learning anything? Or getting better? If not we're going to have to send you back to sh-" Mr. Inchijouji started seriously, but Ken interrupted him.  
  
"I'm getting better, alright!? No more bad thoughts!"  
  
Mr. Inchijouji sat back in his chair, eyes heavy from work gazing at his son charily. He then muttered something incomprehensible and picked up his reading glasses, signifying the conversation done. As Ken passed through the doorway, Mr. Inchijouji yelled after him, "You'd better be,"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The next day was Monday, and that meant school. It was the time of year where the school days blurred together, and you could never seem to remember where the days started or how they ended. The school day's high point got lost in a pile of others until shoved into the back of your mind, until only were you in the pits of despair did you remember them. Another day in uniforms and desks. Daisuke seemed bouncy as usual, and was half surprised when Ken wasn't.  
  
"So... didja see 'Matt" Daisuke drawled, latching to Ken like fly to flypaper.  
  
"We're going out," Ken murmured softly, the rest of the school oblivious to their conversation.  
  
"And how has that got you feeling low? Come on man, new day! Birds sing, kids laugh, free ice cream for all but nooooooooooooo....... Ken has to frown," Daisuke joked, his arms fluttering in every which way. Students turned and stared a Daisuke's antics.  
  
"I'm not 'feeling low'," Ken answered dully, unable to hide how true his depression was in his voice. Daisuke stopped and stared at Ken. His eyes darted up and down Ken's body for a moment. Truthfully, Ken was excited about Friday's date, it was just his meeting.  
  
"Liar. You're a horrid liar. Now, your job by the beginning of lunch is to tell me what's bothering you," Dai smiled.  
  
"And if you don't... YOU'RE NEVER GETTING YOUR LUCKY BOXERS BACK!!"  
  
"You're the one who has my boxers!? DAISUKE!! GIVE THEM BACK!! IF YOU'RE WEARING THEM..."  
  
Daisuke giggled madly as he rushed off, Ken hot in pursuit.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Interlude: One  
  
"So... How was your week?"  
  
"Fine,"  
  
"Anything unusual happen?"  
  
"Not really,"  
  
"::Sigh:: How was the last session?"  
  
"Brian got busted,"  
  
"Oh? How so?"  
  
"He went on a date. With a boy."  
  
"How did this make you feel? Are you angry, or disappointed?"  
  
"Which one do you want to hear?"  
  
" Look now..."  
  
"Can I go now?"  
  
"Fine. But look... I'm here to help you. This is a problem, you know that right?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
  
"Yama? Where are we going?" Ken asked as the jeep pulled onto the highway. Yamato grinned as he looked at the blindfolded boy from the corner of his eye. The night had just fallen, and the streetlamps glared in violent colors at passersby. People flocked the streets of downtown, circling the center square and eyes fixated on the shadows; looking for predators. Cars swarmed through the intersections, their speed blurring the Friday Night.  
  
"That's a secret," Yamato replied devilishly.  
  
"Alright then. Are we almost there yet?"  
  
"Nope,"  
  
"How 'bout now?"  
  
"Nope,"  
  
"Now?"  
  
"No,"  
  
"Are you sure we aren't there yet?"  
  
"Ken, you remind me of T.K on vacation," Yamato chuckled.  
  
"Oh really? T.K's as bad as Daisuke," Ken raised an eyebrow and scooted closer to the driver. His head swiveled up to look at Yama, and even though his eyes were blindfolded, Ken felt Yama's face smile as his laughter broke the air.  
  
"Yeah? You weren't stuck with him, Hikari, Miyako, Iori and Koushiro for two straight weeks, sleeping in R.V. camps and living off Burger King," Yamato snorted as they pulled into the parking lot. Gently, Yamato lifted Ken out of the passenger side and set him down on the pavement. He then grabbed Ken's hand and led him blindly through the parking lot. They walked in silence, finding no obstacle on the grounds, until Yamato stopped him and stood behind Ken. Slowly, he removed the blindfold and stepped back to let Ken take in the sights.  
  
The old carnival grounds had been shut down for at least 5 years, all of the rides and booths rusted and worn, each trashed with graffiti. The merry-go-round horses had paint chipping off, and although there was trash and broken light bulbs from the carnival's glorious days, the place still looked as amazing as it had been years ago. Ken turned to Yama, smiled, and tagged Yama before running in the direction of the Ferris wheel, his date hot on his heels.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Mmmmmm..fff!!! GODDAMMIT!!!" Taichi screamed as the doorbell rang for the fourth time. He sat up on the bed and placed his cinnamon-haired boyfriend onto the floor. He was still tucking in his shirt as he opened the door to none other than Takeru.  
  
"For Christ's sake, Take'! IT'S ALMOST 11 P.M.!!!" Taichi cried at the teenager on his doorstep. From inside the house, Daisuke crept out of the bedroom and snuck up behind Taichi, looping an arm around his waist. Takeru blanched at Taichi's reaction, but remained calm as he was led into the tiny apartment. Taichi was literally thrown onto the couch as Daisuke straddled him, and Takeru was left to dump himself in the chair.  
  
"So...?" Taichi started between mouthfuls of Daisuke.  
  
"I'm looking for Yamato. Mom wants to see him and he wasn't at home," Takeru informed them, matter-of-factly.  
  
"He's on a date," Daisuke replied, not bothering to look at Takeru's surprised reaction. Takeru shifted forward in his seat.  
  
"Really?! He hasn't been on one in years... who? Do you know?"  
  
"Uh.... well, ya see Take'..." Daisuke said awkwardly, pushing away from Taichi.  
  
"He's going out with Ken," Taichi stated.  
  
Takeru raised an eyebrow. Daisuke raised an eyebrow at Takeru's lack of reaction. Taichi... did not raise an eyebrow.  
  
"Oh? When will they be back?" Takeru asked, shuffling the topic away from awkwardness.  
  
"Is that all you're going to say?!!" Daisuke cried, standing up. Takeru looked up at him, then sighed deeply.  
  
"I'm not like that anymore. I... I don't care if he's gay.... It doesn't bother me anymore, okay?" Takeru answered quietly, his voice tight with malice. Taichi grabbed his boyfriend and pulled Daisuke back onto the couch.  
  
"What did your Mom want with him?"  
  
"I don't know, but she seemed stressed about it. Yamato hasn't been home for days now, and I think it's starting to scare her. Yamato's been acting weird lately. Sometimes it's like he's out of it, then other times he's either gone or going crazy over studying. He wants to get into Totsubia University, and I think he thinks that if he doesn't get in, he'll have failed us all," Takeru replied, forehead furrowed.  
  
"I'm still worried about Ken," Daisuke looked up from his hands, " Remember last summer when totally disappeared for a few months? I haven't been able to get him to talk to me about it. Whenever we speak of it, he looks away into the distance and tells me it's not my problem. It's like whatever happened was too horrible to speak of. He's also been drilling into schoolbooks since that summer. Before, he wouldn't be so uptight about it, but now it's like when he was the... Kaiser,"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
A.N./ Heyla! I just got back from another interesting summer at camp! This year we got evacuated because of a forest fire, and it was very fun. More to come, and the "Interlude" is kinda confusing, but pay attention to them and all shall be revealed soon! -Samsara 


End file.
